Byakugan Productions, Inc
by Black Mage Leah
Summary: Meet the Hyuuga cousins, Neji and Hinata. Genius ninja and shy failure. Chakra control expert and quiet tagalong. Fatalistic pessimist and hopeless romantic. Put them together and they are. . . film directors?


Byakugan Productions, Inc.

Summary – Meet the Hyuuga cousins, Neji and Hinata. Genius ninja and shy failure. Chakra control expert and quiet tagalong. Fatalistic pessimist and hopeless romantic. Put them together and they are… film directors?

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. But if I did, I would mass produce Kyuubi plushies and hoard them in my bedroom. I also don't own Radio Shack, but if I did, I would have a lot more electronic stuff.

A/n – So, the title isn't really all mine, either. I was looking at Olivia's (o-dragon, the same Olivia that is a character in Not Another Ninja!) Xanga, and I noticed the words "Sharingan Productions" at the top, and I'm like, "Whee, fic ideas!" But to be honest, I wanted to write a fic around NEJI! So I had to change it.

A/n – Okay, note that this story is not NejixHinata. I can't write it. I like Neji with Tenten and Hinata with Kiba. None of his Hyuugacest nonsense.

A/n – Hehe. I'm having way too much fun with this "formal conversation" stuff. So it will probably last. But also, as a part of my signature writing style, I shall switch back and forth in all randomness, for humor's sake.

A/n – Okay… so no one said that Neji couldn't use Sasuke's technique. Well… no one said he could…. But no one said he couldn't either!

A/n – Yeah, yeah, I know I should be working on my other fics. But I kinda wanted to write this. So deal with it.

* * *

Take One – Hyuuga Boredom Is Powerful Stuff

* * *

Neji was bored.

Very bored.

"I am very bored," said Neji.

"You look very bored, Neji-niisan," said Hinata.

"I am very bored, Hinata-sama," said Neji.

"I am very bored as well, Neji-niisan," said Hinata.

"I see that you are very bored, Hinata-sama," said Neji.

"Have you used your Byakugan to see that I am bored, Neji-niisan?" asked Hinata.

"Why yes, I have. Have you used _your_ Byakugan to see that I am bored, Hinata-sama?" asked Neji.

"Why yes, I have. Have you used _your_ Byakugan to see that I have used _my_ Byakugan to see that you are bored, Neji-niisan?" asked Hinata.

"Why yes, I have. Have you used _your_ Byakugan to see that I have used _my_ Byakugan to see that you have used _your_ Byakugan to see that I am bored, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked.

"Why yes, I ha-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" yelled Hyuuga Hiashi, trying to restrain himself from tearing out his hair. "I'M SICK OF LISTENING TO THE TWO OF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING BORED! IF YOU'RE BORED, WHY DON'T YOU GO CLEAN THE BATHROOMS OR SOMETHING?"

"But I'd rather be bored that do _that_," the two said simultaneously.

"THEN GO BE BORED SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

"Hai…." Neji and Hinata muttered, and scampered out of the Hyuuga compound.

* * *

"So, what shall we do now, Neji-niisan?" Hinata asked.

"I do not know, Hinata-sama," Neji replied, "But surely we must find something to do, otherwise we shall be fated to be bored for all eternity!"

"Perhaps we could go shopping, Neji-niisan!" Hinata suggested.

"That is a valid idea, Hinata-sama. But what are we to shop for?" asked Neji.

"I do not know, Neji-niisan, but perhaps we could walk to the shopping district and glance about for something for which to shop!" Hinata declared.

"That is an intelligent possible cure to our severe boredom, Hinata-sama!" Neji exclaimed, "Let us go! To the shopping district!"

Thirty seconds later, the two Hyuugas had still not left. "Ahm… yes. I suppose we should start walking."

Hinata looked up at her cousin. "Ano…. Neji-niisan…"

"Yes, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked.

"…Can I have a piggy-back ride?"

"…….No."

"Poo."

"Let's just go."

Hinata did a pouty face, which obviously makes her far too adorable for anyone to resist. And thus, Hinata got a piggy-back ride to the shopping district.

* * *

"Oh, look, a store!"

"A store?"

"A store!"

"Verily, a store!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed the store owner.

"Sorry…." Said Neji and Hinata. A lot of people seemed to be yelling at them today.

The shopping district was not particularly crowded, as it seemed most people were not as bored as the Hyuugas. The two walked down the street, Hinata pulling Neji along like a little kid dragging their parents to the gourmet fudge store. Finally, they got to the super-awesome-special-fun section of Konoha's shopping district, also known as the electronics section! Here you could find all sorts of good stuff, like video games, computers, more video games, and a Radio Shack!

Hinata dragged Neji into the Radio Shack, and walked up to the first shelf.

"Ehh… hello…" said the clearly sleep-deprived worker, "Can I…. help you… wiiiiiiith….. something?" Neji and Hinata ignored her. She promptly fell asleep on the counter.

"Neji-niisan, what shall we look for?" Hinata asked.

Neji pointed dramatically. "Look, Hinata-sama!"

Hinata looked confused. "We shall be buying remote control cars?"

"No."

"Remote control airplanes?"

"No."

"Muffins?"

"…..No."

"Can we buy muffins later?"

"….Maybe." Neji liked muffins.

"Then what _are_ we going to buy, Neji-niisan?"

Neji pointed. "We are going to buy that, Hinata-sama!"

"What, the blender?"

"No, not the blender! The video camera!"

"Do we have enough money?" Hinata asked, and looked in her purse.

"How much do you have, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked, and looked in his wallet.

"Ehh…." Hinata said, "I'm broke…"

"Heheheh…." Neji laughed nervously, "Me too…."

Hinata looked at the clerk, who was still sleeping, then looked back at Neji and raised her eyebrows in a very not-Hinata-like way. "I won't tell if you won't."

"Sounds good to me," Neji said with a grin. He promptly Juken'd the metal detector to death and/or broken-ness. He and Hinata grabbed the camera and dashed out of the store. The clerk didn't wake up.

* * *

"Okaaay…. Now what?"

"I do not know, Hinata-sama."

"Well… why don't we find some other people to help us?"

"Help us with what?"

"I do not know, to be honest…"

"Ah! I've got an idea!"

"What is it, Neji-niisan?"

"Why don't we… make a movie?"

"What, like a cartoon?"

"…No. I do not like cartoons."

"But, Neji-niisan, you are a cartoon!"

"That's irrelevant, Hinata-sama."

"I see. Gomen, Neji-niisan. Will we be making a puppet show, then?"

"No, we will not be making a puppet show! Puppets are Kankuro's thing. I don't do puppets."

"But, Neji-niisan," Hinata whimpered, "Blooky-kun wants to meet you!" She held up her hand, which had a very nice sock puppet whose name was Blooky.

Neji's eye twitched. "Hello, Blooky-san," he said in a very strained voice.

"'Hello, Neji-niisan! It's nice to meet you!'" Hinata/Blooky said.

"Alright, I have met Blooky-san. Put him away before I burn him."

"Neji-niisan, that's so unkind!" Hinata whimpered, and began to cry.

"Oh for – don't cry, Hinata-sama! I'm sorry! Please stop!" Neji pleaded, for a crying Hinata is a difficult thing to ignore.

Hinata sniffled. "Say sorry to Blooky-kun, too."

"I'm sorry, Blooky-san," Neji muttered through clenched teeth.

"'That was so insincere, Neji-niisan!'" Hinata/Blooky whimpered, "'I'm not going to forgive you!'"

Neji rolled his eyes. "Why would I need forgiveness from a friggin' sock puppet!"

"'This is why!'" roared Hinata/Blooky. She Juken'd up her hand through Blooky, and slashed off nearly six inches of Neji's hair.

"What the – GODDAMMIT, HINATA!" Neji yelled. He snatched Blooky off of her hand. "Katon: Gokakyuu no Jutsu!" he yelled, and burned poor Blooky to a crisp.

"Neji-niisan!" Hinata cried, and reverted to a full blown sob-fest.

"Ahhhh!" Neji yelled, "No, no, don't cry! Come on, Hinata-sama! I-I-I'll buy you candy! A-an-and a… a puppy! Candy and a puppy! Just don't cry!"

"Deal!" Hinata said, brightening immediately.

"Fine," Neji sighed, "Now, why don't we set up auditions for the movie?"

* * *

"So, would someone like to tell me exactly what we're doing here?"

"Why are you looking at _me_ like that, Sakura-chan!"

"Turn the volume down, dobe."

"Shut up, teme."

"Bite me."

"With or without fangs?"

"…I hate you."

"Love ya too, Sasuke-teme."

"Sasuke-kun, can I hit him?"

"Hn. I'm not stopping you."

"Score! Take that, baka!"

"Itaiiii! Sakura-chan, you're hurting me!"

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!"

All present stopped talking and turned to Neji.

"Alright, now that we have a bit of sanity here, let's start!"

"START WHAT!" the crowd yelled.

"Neji-niisan, you didn't tell them why you asked them to come here, did you?"

"Of course I did, Hinata-sama. They just can't listen."

"Ohh… I see."

* * *

A/n – Heh heh. A new much funness fic. Hope you like. Next chapter – The Auditions!

Oh, and by the way…

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, _PLEASE_ REVIEW!


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